Saturday 12 November 2011

on the other side, 4 days post op and its not been a good day

I was going to blog sooner, but to be quite honest, I just couldnt be bothered. 
Today is four days post op, and I have had the most dreadful day really. I got myself really upset and worked up last night so did not sleep well, was awake at 5:15 (prague time) and couldn't get back to sleep, when I eventually did I slept in till nearly 10, which was nice as I have been woken no later than 9 every day this week. The nurse came in around 10/10:30 to tell me I can have a shower, she helped my take off all the stuff and I twinged myself where my left drain had been, the pain was sharp and quick, and I thought I was ok for a minute then I started to go dizzy, my vision blurred, head spinned, i went cold but roasting, shaky, was awful, not felt like that since I did my toe in under dads door. I twinged it again later but apart from the pain, nothing happened. I also had to cough earlier, painful, must not for the next few weeks cough, sneeze, hiccup or violently laugh, it hurts alot, if I get a cold, I will cry.
As for the rest of the days since my last blog, monday was pretty boring, I had blood tests and an ecg, a chat with the surgeon where she drew all over me in blue pen, and then a chat with the doctor, who seemed more interested in being amazed at my tattoos than telling me how fit I was, but I had a clean bill of health, Thank god!
Tuesday I had to be up at 6am to have a shower, get my stuff together and be at the hosp for 7, when I got there I found I was sharing a room with a german lady having her boobs and eyelids done (and who was also the owner of the whingy crying child I had heard pretty much constant since sunday aft), I had to put on a backless gown, so my naked bum was sticking out the back, and, thigh high white deep vein thrombosis socks, how very sexy ha! I had a cannula in my hand before leaving my room, which hurt, an injection in my thigh which also hurt, and then in the theatre, I cried my eyes out as they put me to sleep, was sooo painful!
I had quite bad pain immediately after waking up, but something they did made it almost disappear immediately, and it has just been mostly uncomfortable since. I had to move around from day one, just walking to and from the loo, then the next day I had to walk back to my apartment, haunched over like an old lady, ha. The days following were pretty much blah, bit uncomfy but nothing major till I had my drains out yesterday, again, I cried, It hurt alot, and it made the most awful noise, I am so glad they came out thow, looked and felt like an alien carrying round two long tubes with pods on the end with my blood in, eurgh. Oh and while changing my bandages today I had clean my bellybutton with a big cotton bud, its all numb and feels super wierd, and I can still feel the wadding now. After having my stuff off for a while today I am very aware of my incisions today, they do hurt abit and throb a fair bit, it hope it calms back donw tomorrow.
Anyway, super long post, but if anyone is interested in having a tummy tuck, there you go, I like to share.
I may pop out for some neccessities tomorrow, fingers crossed im feeling more normal. 

Sunday 6 November 2011

birthday month, and theres alot on

Well I havn't posted anything in ages, and had been toying with writing a new post today, and then got a message from a very cool lady telling me about her new fashion blog here which is fab, I love her dress sense, she always looks fab, and loves quirky things like me!!
After reading her post about the new little black dress, I'm definately going to splurge out and get the dress I have had an eye on for ages!

I have had my eye on it for a couple of weeks after I saw it in some trashy celeb mag. (Dorothy Perkins btw) The model in the mag had coral coloured sky high stilettos on with it and it looked amazing, so if I buy the dress, obviously I have to buy some coral shoes, shame :) Well it is my birthday on the 26th, and I will be 26, so they wil be my pressie to me for being brave (see below) and shopping for the perfect shoes will give me something to do for the next 11 days :)

On another note, I am curled up on the sofa right now in an apartment in prague. You may know from earlier blogs that I dearly wanted a tummy tuck, well tuesday is TT day, flew into prague this afternoon, got a day of tests etc tomorrow (then must shop for after op munchables). I'm so excited, but also incredibly scared and nervous. It is nice though that on the table is a book of testimonials, and in it is one from a lady I had been chatting to on lookyourbest, she mustav stayed in the same apartment, which is fab. I do wish I wasn't alone, mainly because it is a little bit boring, and will be especially the first few days after when I can't really go anywhere, and so I had someone to hold my hand, but it is nice to just chill out away from everything. I am a scruff by the way, all the cushions from the couch are on the floor, I decided they were in the way, and a big soft pillow was preferable. Oh and I can't figure out how to work the tv, it goes all scrambly, thank god I had the foresight to make sure I had plenty to watch. On the downside, I have eaten far to much today, tut tut. Well will be back with another installment to moan about all the tests tomorrow no doubt. Over and out, moi

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Every woman........

deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it, holds her tight like he never wants to let go, doesn't cheat, wipes her tears when she cries, doesn’t make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her, is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really loves her.
 Every man deserves pretty much this to....

Wednesday 31 August 2011

smile, because......I want to see...

the most beautiful smile you own is the one that reaches your eyes, it's just gorgeous


Wednesday 24 August 2011

Day 41 - Whatever tickles your fancy

Well....it's fortunate that there is no set subject for todays blog as I just want to have a right good rant.....I am pretty narked, it doesn't happen very often, I'm probably being overly dramatic, or overly something else that my annoyed brain can't think of right now, but I have to say I am quite annoyed.
Why I was so chuffed to be back speaking to "bud" the other week is beyond me, she's more hassle than it's worth. Chatting was great until she decides, oo I think I'll have a party on the 17th of sept, a pre wedding party and maybe tattooing. Nice idea, but I am going to the burlesque show, this has been decided since june, so I said I was dreadfully sorry, but I couldn't make it, and neither would Ria and Dave, but she would be welcome, with Chris, to join us, as there would be a whole bunch of us going, more the merrier and all that.
I knew, just knew as soon as I hit the send button that she would be narked, and I was sooo right. I get
'well if everyones gonna be going to burlesque, I'll just cancel, theres no point'.
NO thanks for the invite, which would have been polite....AND, we aren't her only friends, the fact that she never bloody speaks to us is proof of that, she's not a total hermit, can't she invite other friends?? And, her flipping facebook statuses do my nut in, all this 'I know who my real friends are, I know to never let someone get close to me apart from family, all the people I ever trusted let me down' crap. I can't be doing with it. Bloody attention seeking child. I used to be there for her, I used to sit up all night with her and comfort her, even when I thought she was in the wrong, and do everything that a best friend does. I'm not even invited to her wedding. So stuff her, she can go play 'woe is me' with more tolerable people, my patience with her has finally been extinguished, its been over two years coming, I'm finally done. I'm not being blamed for your relationship problems anymore, not being held responsible for you loosing touch with everyone, and not interested in whether you have been crying over something I have no control over. At one time I'dve done all that gladly because that's what I did. I don't have the energy to do it for you anymore, I need to be at least acknowledged if not appreciated.
That is all
I will prob delete this in a few days when I read it and decide what an idiot I sound, but I need to vent.
I wish it was at least a good vent.....

oh, and I almost forgot, you can't fooking spell, does my head in

Thursday 18 August 2011

Day 40 - A letter to someone deceased person you wish you could talk to

Hello Nana,
My god do I miss you.
Even though I have been in your house so many times since you have passed I still can't believe you have gone, I can just imagine that you are sat on the computer all quiet playing a game while we chat in the lounge, like we did. I know life moves on, but its heartbreaking for me watching your house change, that house was built for you, it pretty much grew around you, the whole family grew around you. It's different now...
Sometimes I can see that almost laugh expression that you made, and my stomach lurches and I feel sick, I will never see that again, it still reduces me to tears. It's funny how that is the main way I remember you, I guess it's a cheerful memory, it was always an expression you pulled when you had said some something cheeky, it was great, I think I have even started to mimic you, I catch myself doing it every now and then.
I don't believe in God, or heaven, or any kind of afterlife, but I like to think that you could see us, at least in the weeks just after you passed, sitting round the coffin telling stories, just like we did with grandad. You looked so peaceful, but so small, so so small. At least we filled your coffin with lots of things, I can imagine you were heavy to carry on the day, not because of you, but because of everything we sent you away with. Even a little bit of me went with you, and mum, so a little bit of us will be with you always. I have my little bit of you with me, I keep it safe, I always will. I have one of your pinnys by the way, and one of your dresses, I will wear it one day, I just wish you could see me in it, and I hope I do it justice.
Jasper is doing fine, he lives with Steven now, we decided it was best, as there he would get the most love and attention, he even has a rabbit to play with. Graham wanted to take him, but sat in the shop all day would be no life for him, and at the time mum just didn't think she could give him the attention he deserved. She has her own dog now, Jackson, he's a jackadoodle, cute as anything, stupid bundle of bumbling curly fur. Oh and she's having to have a hysterectomy by the way, I'm not sure whether you knew, I think she hid her problems once we knew you had cancer.
I feel like theres so much I need to tell you, you've only been gone since march, I have graduated, not greatly, but with honours. I have a job, and a new boyfriend (one that doesn't faff, you'd like him much more I'm sure). I keep myself fit, and my nails clean, I take so much more pride in myself lately. I've done a ton more drawings that I can't show you, and a bunch of fab things at the zoo.
Mainly I just want to tell you I love you, It was the last thing I ever said to you before you died, I know you knew I was there, you saw me for a brief moment, I burst into tears on my way out your room, as I knew that was the last time I'd see you alive, my words broke as I said them, but I know you heard me. I do love you Nana, a massive hole has been left in the family now. I wish you were here. I know life goes on, but it will never be the same.
Emer
xxxxxxxx

Wednesday 17 August 2011

today.....

I figured something.....I don't think I have ever been both this confident and this happy in my life. I have a fab man, fab friends and family, fab jobs, a fab figure(if I do say so myself), fab hair, and fab clothes. Everything isn't perfect, things are hard, I get crap money, but despite that it's bloody darn good. I hope things stay this way for a long time. It's not often I can remember being truly happy.


Sunday 14 August 2011

Day 39: zodiac sign and do you think it fits your personality

I'm a sagittarian, the archer, and is commonly depicted as a centaur with a bow and arrow.

Optimistic and freedom-loving
Jovial and good-humoured
Honest and straightforward
Intellectual and philosophical

Thats what it says for a typical sagittarian. That is me to a t really. However it says on the bad side:

Blindly optimistic and careless
Irresponsible and superficial
Tactless and restless

I think I do possess some of these qualities, I dont think I'm particularly tactless, irresponsible or superficial though really. Reading through here what it says about how I should be according to my starsign, I agree on alot of aspects, although, I am not at all religious, in regards to me, that part is tosh.


Wednesday 10 August 2011

Bucket List

This won't be complete now, I will probably add to it as I think of them......

1. Fall hopelessly in love
2. Swim with sharks
3. Hold a spider (a big hairy one)
4. Learn to drive
5. Own a classic car
6. Parachute jump
7. Bungee jump
8. Go somewhere naked
9. Go on holiday with no luggage
10. Get something I have written published
11. Perform/dance on a stage
12. Jump off a cliff/ cliff dive
13. Own a house
14. Dance in the rain...with someone I love
15. Sleep under the stars
16. Experience the rainforest
17. Go on safari
18. Ride a camel
19. Run into the sea on a cold day, naked (somewhere nice)
20. Make love in the rain
21. Change someones life
22. Water ski
23. Go deep sea diving
24. Go rock climbing
25. Milk a cow
26. Go bareback horse riding, along the beach
27. See a tornado
28. Experience an earthquake
29. Climb a huge tree
30. Surf
31. Go on holiday with someone I love
32. Walk(strut) down a catwalk
33. Drive in an open top car fast down a highway in america
34. Just drop everything and go on holiday that day
35. Send a love letter
36. Ride an elephant
37. Drive off road at night
38. Learn another language
39. Go to a festival
40. Climb a mountain
41. Gamble in a casino
42. See niagara falls
43. Ride a gondola in venice
44. Eat snails in france
45. Eat lobster
46. Hunt my own food
48. Participate in another county's festival
49. Fly a plane
50. Fly in a helicopter
51. Get lost in foreign country
52. Have champaigne for breakfast
53. Learn a musical instrument
54. Go into a wedding dress shop, try on loads of dresses, then tell the assistant I'm not getting married
55. Learn to bake bread